This post was written for inclusion in the Mindful Mama Carnival hosted by Becoming Crunchy and TouchstoneZ. This month our participants have challenges they’ve set for themselves toward becoming more mindful. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
My approach to unschooling my children has given me plenty of opportunity to unschool and deschool myself. I believe in becoming constantly more self-aware and in conducting myself–even my very mundane day-to-day activities–with intention and meaning.
- I don’t care. This has been my regular response to a multitude of questions ranging from “Mom, can we have ice cream?” to “Do you want me to make tea?” It implies a disinterest in my self and in my relationships. When an question can be answered with ‘yes’ or ‘no’, then at the very least I will stick with ‘yes’ or ‘no’. But I will consciously aim for a real response like ‘That would be lovely’ or ‘Would you prefer now or later?’
- It doesn’t matter. Really, Patti? Things don’t matter? Well, sometimes there are things that don’t matter, like “Mom, should I wear red socks or yellow?” But if someone is asking me a question, they are expecting a real answer to something that matters to them. They deserve a respectful answer. Similarly, if something should happen that is of no consequence to me, such as a broken plate, I will try to respond to the situation with something positive, such as ‘Oh, well. Good thing we have lots of other plates. Mistakes happen sometimes and people are more important than things.’
- It’s up to you. A better answer would be “I trust you to make the best choice for you.”
- Whatever. Will you let me be ashamed of how often I say this? No more. It is so dismissive and condescending. My intention for my relationships is to show that I am engaged and open, and the use of ‘whatever’, even in response to forgetting my own sunglasses or being late for an appointment implies that I am not fully accepting myself. I must use better intention in my relationship with my own spirit and treat myself with respect, too.
- I can’t. Until recently, my negative self-talk had me believing that everything was always hard and that I didn’t deserve to have anything turn out well. No more! I am on a new positive streak where happiness, success and peace are always attainable. Life is too short and too good to be stuck in negativity anymore. I CAN, and I WILL. Life is happening FOR me, not TO me.
- We’ll see. I think my children need a more definite answer about decisions I have to make. A better answer would be “I need to think about what will be best for all of us before I decide. What do you think?”
Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.
Do you have expressions that you need to strike from your vocabulary?
Visit The Mindful Mama Homepage to find out how you can participate in the next Mindful Mama Carnival!
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Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
- The Importance of a Moment Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama reflects on the need to slow down and breathe in life instead of rushing from one moment to the next.
- Mindful Playing With My Daughters Rani at Om She Said looked at her girls and realized that more than anything they wanted her right there next to them, playing, laughing, creating, and having fun; that’s exactly what she did!
- Watch Your Words Patti at Canadian Unschooler challenges herself to make her words a reflection of her intentions.
- The Mindful Benefits of Knitting Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares how knitting has helped lift her out of depression and has given her a new form of meditation.
- Self Compassion: How Thinking About Bad Experiences Can Make You Happier and More Compassionate CJ at Imperfect Happiness challenges herself to be more compassionate…with herself.
- Calming the Home Environment by Selecting Traditional Toys Sam at Love Parenting discusses the benefits of natural toys.
- Quieting my Infernal Inner Ramblings Tree at Mom Grooves writes about her commitment to get out of her head and into the moment with her daughter and husband.
- Changing Our Everyday The Aniweda Dream is sizing up the changes they’ve made by moving across the country and looking at how to make their lives more mindful as a family.
- A Mindful Cup of Tea Amy at The Daily Muttering tells how she’s trying to regain control of her life with the chaos of 3 kids thanks to the introduction of a simple daily ritual.
- Mindful Mama Moontime Lucy at Dreaming Aloud shares how becoming conscious of her moon time has helped her find balance in herself as a woman, and a mama.
- Speaking to the Need Shana at Tales of Minor Interest shares how she tries to stay mindful of her preschooler’s needs.
- Going Within Amy at Anktangle describes a centering practice she’s been being more intentional about lately, and which she has come to realize is a precious gift in her life.
- Waking Up With Meditation Amy at PresenceParents shares how awakening with presence carries her through the day.
- Mindful Meditations Zoie at TouchstoneZ explores six weeks of seated meditation and discovers some things she doesn’t expect.
- Mindfulness in the Kitchen – an Everyday Challenge Kelly at Becoming Crunchy shares how she’s been challenging herself to involve more mindfulness in everyday tasks – especially in the area of cooking for her family.