We’re selling the house and hitting the road!

But not until July 2014.

It’s been in the planning stages for two entire years already but we are finally announcing it to the world at large.  And it’ll work like this:

Partner-Guy’s job allows him to bank 20% of his salary each year for 4 years.  In the 5th year he’ll get paid that banked money while he takes the year off.  It’s been harder than I thought to live on 80% of his salary, but knowing that he will have 12 months off with pay is a great incentive.

So the plan is for us to see Canada from coast to coast to coast.  Since we live smack-dab in the middle of this enormous country, we plan to drive all the way EAST first.  Rather than find new hotels or campsites each week, we’ll rent a cottage for 2-3 months in one of the Maritime provinces and use that as our home base while we travel a little throughout the region.  I absolutely have to see Green Gables in Prince Edward Island and I want to eat lobster every night for a week in Newfoundland.  In Nova Scotia and New Brunswick I want to explore the farms and villages.  I also want to explore the history of that region, including my personal history–my father arrived on a boat from The Netherlands after WW2 at Pier 21 in Halifax where there is now a museum to honour the many immigrants.

By mid-Fall we intend to start our drive West.  We’ll pass through Ontario and reconnect with friends and relatives then keep driving until we hit The Rockies.  I really want to spend the winter in a chalet with a mountain view and maybe we’ll even learn to ski.  In spring we’ll visit the Queen Charlotte Islands and spend some time learning about the temperate rainforest and the Pacific Ocean.

And before our 12 months is up we’d like to take a plane north to Iqaluit.  It is possibly a once in a lifetime opportunity and I can’t imagine missing the Arctic while seeing Canada.

But here is the really, really exciting part:

We’re not coming back to Toronto!  Since we’ll be touring the whole country, we expect to find a place that is a perfect fit

Quebec--Summer 2011

for our family to start a new chapter in our lives.  I’m leaning toward the eastern countryside of Quebec, but I am truly open to living anywhere, as long as a few criteria are met:

• I have to be able to see the sunrise and the sunset from my front porch.
• The weather and soil has to be suitable for growing vegetables and berries.
• The house has to be big enough for at least 3 bedrooms + a learning studio + a home office.
• There must be really good Internet!
• It has to be accessible by car.

And preferably there will be lots of trees and our neighbours will not be able to see into our house from their driveway.  You know what I mean!

So why are we doing this?

1. Because the best way to learn the history, geography and culture of Canada is to experience it.
2. Because to really understand the World, you need to understand where you come from.
3. Because we really love being together as a family and having unique experiences to add to our family lore.
4. Because even though I always tell my children that they can do anything they put their minds to, I am scared shitless to take this trip and so I am determined to step outside of my comfort zone.
5. Because we don’t want to live in Toronto anymore but we don’t know where to go.  Yet.
6. Because I have spent my entire life watching other people do amazing and interesting things and thought “Wow.  I could never do that” but I don’t think that way anymore.
7. Because we each only get one life to live and I can’t think of any reason to stay in this tiny bungalow in this boring neighbourhood for the rest of mine.

Now tell me:  What part of Canada do think we should ABSOLUTELY see on our trip?  AND can we visit you?

A few years ago, Partner-Guy was assigned to teach a Grade 2/3 class.  One of his Grade 2 students had only just begun attending school near the end of the Grade 1 year.  The child was a mess.  He couldn’t sit still.  He cried.  He picked on other kids.  He wanted friends so desperately that he was practically stalking some of the boys in the class.  And worst of all, according to his other teachers, he couldn’t read.

The principal and the other teachers were horrified.  The boy hadn’t been socialized.  Academically, he was way behind his peers.  Imagine that!  A six-year-old boy who couldn’t read!  (It might be hard for you to know how heavily this paragraph is dripping with sarcasm…)

The school never got the whole story on why the boy hadn’t attended the first three years of school.  Nor did Partner-Guy ever learn why he had been sent to school, except that the parents did divulge to him that CAS (the Children’s Aid Society) had told them that he had to go to school.  Apparently the boy had an older brother who had ended up in a Special Education program and the parents had hoped to avoid the stigma of having another child in Special Education so they had kept him out of school all together.

I don’t know exactly what happened in that family, but I can imagine that the older brother mentioned one day to a friend or teacher that his little brother didn’t go to school.  And then he was likely asked “What does he do all day?” and the brother responded “He rides around in my dad’s tow truck.”  An adult likely contacted CAS and when the family was unable to produce any evidence that the child was doing school at home, they were told that the child would have to go to school.  And maybe there were underlying issues that Partner-Guy never heard about.  Maybe CAS had been involved with the family for other reasons.  Or maybe the boy was left at home alone rather than spending the day with his father learning the family tow truck business.  I don’t know.

What I do know is that these are the types of scenarios that give all homeschoolers a bad name.  Mainstream culture, and teachers especially, think that children can only learn to read and write if an adult teaches them how to do it.  They picture that children who don’t attend school spend their days sitting at the kitchen table doing school work assigned by the parent.  It is inconceivable to them that a child could spend the day working along side a parent in an adult environment and be able to learn all the things that he would need to know to become a productive citizen of the 21st century.

I wrote in a previous post that homeschooling–keeping a child out of school–is completely legal in Ontario.  In fact, the school is obligated to accept the parent’s declaration that they will provide for the child’s education.  Only under certain circumstances is an investigation launched into whether or not the parent is actually providing a learning environment for the child.

I feel sorry for this family who likely believed that they were doing what was best for their son by keeping him out of school.  Forcing the homeschooled child to school is a no-win situation for everyone.  Yes, the boy was a trouble maker at school, but that makes so much sense when you consider how desperate the boy was to fit into his new daily environment.   The school (i.e. the teachers and principal) became forced to cope with the needs of a child who felt displaced, scared and abandoned.  The teachers could only focus on making the child conform to their beliefs about how a child his age should act and learn.  He may not have learned to read in the tow truck, but he was learning.

Our family doesn’t live in constant fear of being investigated for not sending our children to school, but it is something we’re aware of and we take some precautions.  Here are some suggestions for how to protect your family from unwanted attention:

1. Don’t talk to people about the private learning of your children.  If neighbours or other random people ask about the homeschooling of your children make a general comment like “I’m just amazed at how much they’re learning!”  You don’t have be specific.  It’s none of their business.
2. Photograph and date artwork and printing by your child about once per month.  This is an easy way to record progress without trying to create something that resembles a report card.
3. Record family activities and events.  Include trips, lessons and outings to places like the Science Centre or even an indoor playground.  Keep it simple: you can just record it on your calendar and then keep your calendars each year.
4. Know your rights!  If someone shows up at your door from CAS or the Ministry of Education you do not have to show or tell them anything until you contact a lawyer, your spouse, a homeschooling friend or whoever is going to support and protect you and your children.
5. Don’t advertise other aspects of your children’s lives.  People make all kinds of assumptions without knowing the whole story.  So don’t talk publicly about your 5-year-old who is still nursing or your family bed.  You know what I mean.
6. Join the Ontario Federation of Teaching Parents.  If you need help or advice you’ll be glad you paid your membership.

Every homeschooling situation is unique, just like every family is unique.  I believe that within my lifetime, homeschooling will be as common as getting as a tattoo:  it’s not for everyone and those who chose it do so for a huge variety of reasons.

When we first started to think about how we felt uncomfortable with the idea of sending our children to public school, we had not yet heard of unschooling.  And even once I began to read about it and understand it, I had a hard time wrapping my head around what it would look like at our house.  I had to figure out that it was a lot bigger than just not planning lessons or following a curriculum.  I had to embrace unschooling as a lifestyle, a way of being with children, a way of living authentically.

Unschooling is not for everyone and I don’t try to preach it like a religion.  There are many reasons why parents might choose public school or private school or homeschool for their children.  These are the reasons why WE chose to UNSCHOOL.

1. Freedom  Our days are virtually free from obligation.  The clock doesn’t rule our days.  We rarely rush.  There are no arbitrary or artificial rules that control us.  We claim our days for ourselves.
2. Joy  There is great joy in being your own boss all day, everyday.  And since there is no competition or judgement, each accomplishment brings joy.
3. Context  Learning that takes place outside of a real context is likely to be forgotten.  My children have learned about Ancient Egypt because we have a Playmobil pyramid.  They’ve learned about animals of Australia because one of them was given a stuffed koala for her birthday.  They initiate what they learn about and they return to their knowledge over and over.
4. Ease  OK, honestly, I hate fighting with my kids.  About anything.  Leaving them in control of their own time leads to virtually no fighting.  Cooperating with them instead of requiring their compliance is just easier than fighting and creating consequences or punishments.
5. Variety  Everyday is different.  We’re never stuck in a rut spinning our wheels.  I’ve been out of the ‘professional world’ for almost 8 years and I’m still not bored!
6. Socialization  Social skills begin at home, right?  And having 4 kids means that no one is never left out with no one to play with.  We practice our social skills all day long.
7. Values  Because my children are together all day everyday, I know that the values we share in our family are practised all day long.  And there are few outside influences to shake their individual values before they are fully established.
8. Confidence  The children choose their activities.  They cooperate and compromise when necessary.  Their choices are respected and so they learn to make good choices.
9. Connection  We don’t spend our days saying ‘good-bye’ to each other.  My daughters depend on each other and trust each other and display a closeness and understanding of each other that I never knew was possible between siblings.
10. Continuity  Perhaps the most important part of unschooling is how it leads directly into our dreams for our children:  that they will find their passions and someday discover how to support themselves without having to give up what they love and value.  Their flow from childhood into adulthood will be seamless.

I admit that we are still learning about how to live a truly unschooled lifestyle where each person is free to chose his or her own path.  I still control some things that the children wish I wouldn’t (like sugar!) and Partner-Guy still goes to a 9-to-5 job that he is ill-suited for.  And we are still controlled by paying the mortgage and other money-related issues.  Living authentically is a journey and we are still learning how to voyage together.

Perhaps you are considering an alternative to public education for your children?

What does your journey to authenticity look like?